Feeling Trapped

As you're aware, I've been struggling with my decision to return to work recently. After much contemplation and even more prayer, I've come to the conclusion that doing what is best for my family involves me working full-time, at least for now. When I envision the type of lifestyle that I want my family to live, it involves being able to take frequent vacations together, saving for our children's college, paying for a private education(s) for our children, and Mike and I retiring early, amoungst other things. In order to accomplish this particular lifestyle, I must work.

I had begun to make peace with my decision and was even starting to become excited at the prosepect of seeing my co-workers (well, some of them) again. I like working. I honestly do. I've worked hard to finish school and have come a long way in my career. Ultimately, I've come to the conclusion that what I'm really struggling with is the fact that I don't like my job, rather than working in general. When I think about the flexibility I have with my current employer and the fact that I'm respected in my office due to my level of experience, I oftentimes begin to think that I've got a good thing here and would be foolish to let it slip through my hands. Other times, I think about how much I dread going to the office each day and how I cringe everytime an email from my boss pops up in my inbox.

Fast foward to Wednesday afternoon. I had just sat down to give Abbey a bottle when the phone rang. Recognizing my supervisors office number, I immediately picked up. In short, she had wanted to set up a conference call for the following day between her, myself, and my boss. She was very vague as to what it was about, so I mainly figured it was regarding my return to work on April 1st.

Well, friends, what happened during the conference call Thursday afternoon cemented my hatred for my job even further. Essentially, my boss wants my supervisor and I to move to a satellite campus that is in dire need of management in order to revamp it's entire financial aid office now that 3 employees of that office have resigned. When I asked if this would be a permanent move, I was met with some very vague answers and, as it stands now, there is currently no long-term plan for us out there. Let me begin by saying that: A.) This campus is MUCH further away from my home than the Main campus that I work at now. B.) I was not offered any additional money/benefits even though my workload will just about triple. C.) The type of student that this satellite campus attracts is not the type of student that I prefer to work with.

The answer is obvious, right? Decline the position! Wrong. I'm not being given a choice. While I voiced my concerns about the added workload and the increased commute (which will, in turn, increase our daycare and fuel costs), I don't particularly feel confident that the "offer" will change. My boss mentioned that she would speak with the director of HR and her boss to see what can be done, but I'm not expecting much. So why don't I just quit? Well, because we really do need my salary and jobs are very few and far between in my area at the current time. Is it wrong that I want to continue to fight them on this decision until, hopefully, they just fire me and I can collect unemployment for a few months until I can find something else? While that's what I want to do, I'm giving my boss a chance to make the move worth my while. I'm not holding my breath, however.

After crying my eyes out yesturday evening over my frustration, I got a call today from Mike's employer to set up a phone interview with me for Tuesday morning. The position is for an Accounts Receiveable Analyst and the job description had really looked like it was right up my alley. My sweet husband had mentioned the job to me a few weeks back and had even gone so far as to hand-deliver my resume to the hiring director on my behalf.

I'm trying not to get my hopes up as I've been on several interviews in the past year that have not panned out. With that said, I'm still hoping this opportunity may be my way out.