I married my high school sweetheart on July 22, 2006 after 5 years of dating and life has been great ever since! We recently decided that it was time to officially start our family and our daughter, Abigail, was later born on January 12, 2010. We are currently expecting another daughter who is due August 2, 2011 and we could not be happier.
This blog chronicles each step of our (not so) newlywed journey through life and the crazy adventure that is parenthood.
After a few horrendous weeks, the final straw came when my boss told me that she's basically not going to consider my proposal (see this) until an uncertain date in the future. Even though she previously told me that working out a modified schedule would not be an issue, she stated that since the office is currently hiring for 3 other positions, she's unable to consider any alternatives for me until everyone is hired and fully trained - she was still hiring 4 weeks ago when I was told it would not be a problem. Nothing has changed. Let's not forget to mention that two of my other co-workers were recently allowed to modify their hours.
I can't help but take it personally.
I essentially said WTF and emailed (I'm still working out of a satellite campus - against my will) my resignation at the end of the day yesturday.
I have Mike's blessing at this point. I think he's just tired of me crying myself to sleep at night. I know he's extremely worried about money, as am I, but I'm sure we'll work something out. Luckily, he has been offered unlimited overtime recently and does not see this option being eliminated anytime soon. I hope he's right.
My last day will be next Friday, June 4th. Yes, that's right. I did not give a full 2 weeks notice. And no, I do not care. Honestly, they're lucky I'll be here that long.
The plan for now is to just enjoy the summer while spending time with Abbey. I'll keep my eyes open for any part-time positions that may open up going foward.
Last Wednesday, miss Abigail had her 4 month pediatrician appointment. Here are her stats:
Length: 25.5" (she grew 3.5" in two months!)
Weight: 13.6 lbs.
Head circumference: 40.5"
According to her pedi, we have one great looking baby girl. She is hitting all of her milestones thus far and he was happy with her measurements. Apparantly, we have a very long, skinny baby. She was in the 95th percentile for length and the 38th percentile for weight. I have no idea who she takes after in this regard!
I also talked to her pedi about the amount of formula that she was spitting up each day. He didn't seem too concerned about the volume (which, let me tell you, is A LOT) since she never seems to feel any sort of discomfort while it's happening. Rather, he suggested that we start her on rice cereal in her bottle to see if it helps. While it has definitely lessened the amount she spits up on a daily basis, it seems to upset her belly slightly. She's much more fussy than she had been previously. Then again, this could be due to teething and entirely unrelated to the cereal. I guess time will tell.
The past month of Abigail's life has been a blast! She fully interacts with Mike and I now and is even starting to show a bit of interest in Louis as well. Despite all the trials and tribulations I've been facing lately, it's always a joy to walk to her crib every morning and see her beautiful, smiling face. I tell ya, her silly laugh can cure all the world's ills!
All-in-all, she's an excellent baby. She's very easy going and only cries when she's tired or hungry. It's been so interesting to see her personality develop as well as her looks. From the beginning, I really felt like Abbey resembled me. Now, the more I see her with Mike, the more I think she's become his mini-me.
Here's what Abigail's been up to over the past month:
She's developed quite the belly laugh!
Her cheeks, arms, and legs are getting SO chubby. I love it!
She's started "talking" gibberish to us and will squeal loudly when she's happy.
She now sleeps for 8.5 consecutive hours each night - whoo hoo!
She's started the terrible teething phase. There are three spots on her gums (2 on top and 1 on the bottom) where you can feel her teeth just about to break through. She hasn't seemed to be in pain much, but she does make some silly faces to show that she's uncomfortable.
She easily rolls from her tummy to her back and is just about ready to roll from her back to her tummy. She rolls to her side and just as she's about to roll all the way over, she gets stuck and rolls back.
Walking her in the stroller has become a challenge as she has now learned to grip things with her hands and likes to play "fetch" with mommy by throwing her toys, paci, etc. out of the stroller while we're walking.
While she still fits in some newborn clothing, she's now wearing mostly 0-3. All of the 3 month clothes are still huge on her.
She's still wearing size 1 diapers although I plan on switching her to size 1-2 once we use up the last box of size 1's that we have.
Here's Abbey after her photoshoot just playing in her new tutu:
I've had a lot on my mind lately, so I feel that hopefully this post will relieve some of the emotions I've been struggling with over the past few weeks. Flame me if you must. At this point, I honestly don't care.
To begin, I want to be pregnant again - NOW. I had the day off from work yesturday since my SIL flaked out in watching Abbey (again) in the afternoon when Mike went to work and I had the best day that I've had in quite a long time. Mike and I took Abbey for a follow-up appointment at Shriner's Hospital - it was for a potential hip click that her pedi noticed at 6 weeks, but it turns out that she is perfectly fine - and then I spent the rest of the day doing nothing but playing with and caring for my beautiful baby girl. I fully enjoyed every minute.
In the back of my mind, I could feel the nagging feelings of worry and stress regarding my current job situation and even began feeling physically sick at the thought of having to return to work this morning. My boss is WORSE than Meryl Streep's character in TheDevil Wears Prada. To sum it up, she is very abusive and, unfortunately, I have a terrible HR office that couldn't care less about what is going on. I'm at the point where I'm planning to schedule an appointment with my doctor in order to obtain anti-anxiety meds just to make it through the workday.
While holding Abigail in my arms yesturday afternoon and watching her sleep, I found myself wishing and praying that I could do that with her everyday. I began resenting the fact that I have to be away from her for 8+ hours each day and that someone else, even though it's another family member, gets to spend more time with her than I, as her mother, do. I found myself desperately wanting to start TTC baby #2 as in NOW, not next year as Mike and I had talked about. I love Abbey so much and I've always known that the thing I want most out of life is to be a mom. I don't want to wait until next year. I don't even want to wait another month.
I'm at the point where all I want to be is a SAHM, at least until all of our kids are in school. Even then, I only want to work part-time at the most until they are all in high school. I feel like God has been trying to pull me in this direction for a few years now, but that due to my stubborness, I've chosen to ignore His calling. I fully realize that I have my degree and that I have student loan debt as a result. I understand that not using my degree is a waste. I get that. I just feel that perhaps the reason why I've been unsuccessful in finding a new job in the 2 years that I've been looking and the fact that I've put off getting my MBA and the approrpiate certifications for my career is that it's not meant for me. I'm meant to be a mommy first and foremost and everything else is supposed to come second in my life. I've done a lot of soul-searching over the past few months and I strongly believe that God has a different purpose for me than I had originally imagined.
The only thing holding me back from realizing this dream is ultimately our finances. I've worked the budget every way possible and I just can't make it work with me as SAHM. Even with me working part-time as I've proposed at work - and still haven't heard back about - it would be a stretch. Honestly, I still don't care.
There, I've said.
I don't care that we would struggle just to make ends meet. I don't. Yes, it is 100% selfish. It still feels good to get that off my chest.
Knowing everything that I posted about here today, Mike and I willingly had unprotected sex last night and there is a very good chance that I'm ovulating as we speak. I think we are both at the point where we know something has got to give and are both throwing our hands up in the air out of frustration. Can we afford to have another baby right now? Yes, but only if I work. Do we have the room in our home for another child? Well, yes, but it will be tight and we had originally planned on building an addition onto the house or moving before TTC #2. Can we afford for me to NOT bring in an income each month? Heck no.
I stumbled across this website while searching for a baby shower gift for one of my old co-workers and completely fell in love. They have some of the most adorable (and functional) baby items that I've seen in quite awhile.
Since we're constantly running out of burp cloths now that Abigail is teething, I decided to purchase these:
Also, since we can always use more blankets, I decided to purchase this as well:
Mike got a much needed promotion at work! I'm SO incredibly happy for him!
In the same respect, this will mean that he will now be transferred back to 1st shift from 2nd. As he is currently our daycare provider for the majority of the day, this becomes a rather large hiccup for us in terms of childcare and finances. While the raise does come with a 3% base salary increase and the opportunity for yearly bonuses (which he previously would not have been eligible for) amounting to 5.5% of his salary, he will essentially be losing his current shift differential compensation of 6% for a net decrease in salary of 3%. Also, daycare costs would increase pretty dramatically for us.
Even though he was contemplating turning down the promotion due to these circumstances, I know that he was very excited for the new opportunity - to say the very least- and as it offers great opportunities for career growth in the future, there is just no way in heck that I would let him turn the offer down. Not to mention, he would plan on returning to school if he accepted the job as a degree is necessary to advance to any other positions within his company. Again, I would rather eat ramen and shop at Goodwill than have him turn down the job.
After some long discussions, he accepted the position and will start May 17th.
We completely lucked out in that one of my co-workers has decided to become a SAHM and open an in-home daycare starting June 14th. Her and I were pregnant at the same time and her daughter was born only 4 days after Abigail. The best part of this arrangement is that she only charges $25/day for full-time care. Seriously, this is a godsend for us as there is no way we could afford to pay for full-time care at a center. While we've attempted a few playdates in the past, I'm thrilled for our little ones to become the greatest of friends. It will be so nice for Abbey to have someone to play with as she gets older.
This arrangement with my co-worker will leave us with approximately 4 full weeks of overlapping schedules where we need to secure full-time care for Abbey. Luckily, my SIL (who currently watches Abigail from 2-5 pm each day) has graciously agreed to watch her for us during this period of time.
In the meantime, I had submitted a rather lengthy proposal to my boss this past Wednesday asking to have my work hours reduced to a part-time schedule. Not only will it help to save us money towards daycare costs, but it will also allow for me to spend more one-on-one time with Abbey. As you know, being away from her on a full-time basis has been something I've been struggling with since my return from maternity leave. While the specifics have not been hammered out just yet, we have set a deadline of May 21st to get this accomplished. I figured that since I do not need my company's benefits (I can just be added to Mike's) that this was a very viable option for me and will, honestly, make me much happier than I've been over the past month and a half.
I'm already looking foward to all of the things Abbey and I can do together this summer!
Friday was probably the nicest day, weather-wise, that we've had in quite awhile. I decided to take Abbey and Lou for a walk after work. By the time we got back, Abbey was fast asleep in her stroller and Lou was completely worn out.
Saturday, Lou played outside with a golf ball while Mike showed Abbey his other baby (aka his new lawn mower). For all those safety advocates out there - no, the lawnmower was not actually turned on while Abbey was on it. And yes, I realize that taking a picture of your child on a lawnmower makes you a hick in every sense of the word. I've come to terms with my hickish-ness.
Sunday, Abigail was having fun playing in her new Bumbo which I scored on ebay for $13. She loves it!
And then it was bathtime. Here's Abbey being silly: