As of today, I'm officially one month out from my due date. There are so many thoughts and emotions going through my mind these days and the anticipation of finally getting to meet my baby girl is really starting to build.
I wouldn't really say that I've started nesting as of yet. Sure, there is the ever-growing list of household projects that I'd like to get done, but that isn't really anything new. I haven't had much, if any, energy lately to clean the house so I have to admit that I've been feeling pretty lazy. I've managed, with Mike's help, to keep clutter at bay, but I still don't feel like the house is really clean - there's the regular dusting, vacuuming, mopping, etc. that hasn't been done in awhile. I've been attempting to plug away at the chores doing only a little bit each night, but it still doesn't feel like I'm accomplishing much. While I'm trying to adopt the attitude that my rest is more important and that the house can wait, I find myself struggling with this concept. I chalk this up to my being a complete neat-freak. I have issues.
Secondly, I'm starting to get nervous - not about labor and delivery honestly, but about becoming a parent. Let's face it, I've never cared for a newborn. I've never been responsible for the daily 24-hour care of a child. What do I know? I find myself reading every piece of literature on parenting I can manage to get my hands on and scouring parenting boards for any last words of advice. I feel oddly comfortable about delivery, recovery, and breastfeeding but the thought of becoming a parent and all that it implies is scaring the bejeezus out of me right now. I think Mike is feeling the same (although after our preparation for labor class, I think he's a bit on edge about the delivery portion as well).
Third, I still have a feeling of being generally unprepared for the birth of our daughter. I've gone through our registry as well as our nursery several times and although we still have many items I'd like to purchase at some point for Abigail, we have honestly already purchased all of the necessities that we'll need. So the question is, why do I feel like we haven't? Why does this feeling keep nagging me?
Lastly, while I begin to get things wrapped up here at work, I find myself greatly looking foward to the start of my maternity leave in two weeks. I'm completely drained by my continually stressful job and can't wait to have a 3 month break. I'd much rather be home with a screaming baby than have to be here.
Here's hoping Miss Abbey decides to make an appearance sooner rather than later!
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